Our breastfeeding journey 5 months on..

Exhausting. The only word I could use to describe it. I don’t think anyone realises how tiring breastfeeding ACTUALLY IS.

Like Jesus Mary and Joseph it makes me wanna have a nap every 0.72836 seconds. Why does nobody tell you about that?! Why isn’t there some sort of instruction manual? Like when your baby turns the “tap” on and then all of a sudden decides their not hungry anymore WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A BOOB THATS SQUIRTING FREELY IN AROUND 300 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS?!

First of all you apologise to the baby for splatting him in the eye with his own milk, you then press firmly on your nip whilst hoping and praying that it’ll soon stop without forcing your boob to explode.

Those bastard taps are like my arse.

Saying that, I do genuinely LOVE breastfeeding so much! My initial thought on it was a definite no-no when I found I was pregnant with my eldest. I thought “err that’s abit weird” until my health visitor convinced me with all of the benefits and what not.

Choosing to breastfeed both boys was BY FAR the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life! The bond is just something else, the way their beautiful blue eyes stare up at me whilst making those cute little “mmm this is banging, nice one mum” nosies and clinging onto the top of my boob like their life depends on it. Wow truly amazing.

So yes!

5 months on and we’re still going strong!

(Im a poet and I didn’t know it.)

The first few months were a bit of a shit storm but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Endless counts of mastitis, rock hard knockers and a few trips to the doctors didn’t knock me off my tracks.

If you’ve never experienced the pain from mastitis then you’re the luckiest fucking human on earth and I hate u imagine banging your fanny bone a million times into a metal pole at 80mph. Did that make you curl your toes? Yeah well it’s that X3!

People often ask “is it hard breastfeeding whilst you’ve got a toddler?”

The answer to that is fuck yeah!

You’d seriously laugh your balls off if you’d seen some of the ridiculous positions I’ve had to feed in. Once I was laid on the floor feeding Junior from the side whilst swinging Rio around the room with my legs. I legit looked like summet from robot wars.

When a toddler wants your FULL attention and you have the hungriest 5 month old on the planet it does get a little tough but I always remind myself that it’s all SOSO worth it!

Despite how much I’m enjoying feeding my tiny human at the minute I’m also having a few problems. DUM DUM DUMMMM.

No seriously.

My left boob has stopped producing milk all together.

This means that I’m literally only using my right boob to feed with! Now, I’m literally beyond grateful that my supply is still in 1 side at least but bloomin eck my tits are wonkier than my poorly built council house. (Believe me it is wonky anorl)

So yeah. If you ever see me walking around and I’m leaning slightly to one side you know why. Oh and if my right boob is bulging outta my bra abit just pretend you haven’t seen it.

Its definitely been a rocky road so far to say the least but I’m STILL loving every single second and I hope to carry on until Junior is at least 1.

Here’s to more wet patches!

Lots of love!

Joanne X


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