I had so many positive comments about Rio’s birth story and for that I am so well and truly grateful! However, we’re not done talking about battered vaginas and flying shite yet! A slightly quicker labour and birth story however so there’s not AS MUCH to read. I’m still unsure whether that’s a good thing for you or bad, you’ll have to let me know! Anywayyy…

Welcome to Juniors birth story..

Whoever follows me on Instagram will already be aware of how much I struggled with my second pregnancy. It wasn’t just the fact that I had a toddler to chase around the house (by eck that was hard work on its own) but Junior was SO blooming heavy! I literally thought I was growing Michelin Man in there like no joke.

Juniors due date was the 20th November 2017.

Since I was about 30 weeks pregnant I ALWAYS told family and friends that he would come quicker than we all expected I was almost 100% certain that we’d be meeting our little bambino very very soon.

8th November 2017

I had already planned on sleeping at my mum and dads for a couple of days while the boys daddy was working night shifts, even though I wasn’t due for another 2 weeks, I didn’t want to risk being on my own yanno just in case.


This time around I had been unbelievably lazy regarding packing my hospital bag.

No in fact I hadn’t been lazy, In all honesty it was because I was absolutely shitting my knickers at the thought of giving birth again. I didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that in a few short weeks someone was gonna be getting that Bunsen burner straight back out and shuvving it rate up my fadge! (You’ll understand if you read Rio’s birth story) I was petrified. This time I knew EXACTLY what I was about to go through.

Now I don’t know what it was but I had a feeling, a really strong chuffing feeling. Something told me to pack my hospital bag there and then!

It was just half an hour before we needed to leave the house and I knew I couldn’t just ignore this instinct.

I quickly ran upstairs, threw a load of shit into a bag, snapped a photo and threw it into the car!

Above is the exact photo I uploaded to instagram. I captioned it with..

Hospital bag all packed and about to be put in the car eeeek #sonervous”

I had to reassure a couple of my lovely followers that I wasn’t actually in labour, I replied to them saying..

I’m not in labour yet ladies, just preparing. Lot of loving to you all!”


By this point Jordan was at work and I was at my parents house.

Everything was normal. Rio was upstairs in bed fast sleep and I was just about to join him, I was absolutely exhausted!

My Braxton hicks had been so strong all day but I didn’t think too much of that at all because they’d been the same for weeks!

9th November 2017- 2:30am

I was rudely woken with cramp like pains. I thought nothing of it at all. “It’s probably just Junior throwing his fat thighs about or summet.

Off I went back to sleep.

That same cramp pain returned .. and again.. and again.

I must have woken up AT LEAST about 12 times before thinking..

“am I in labour?”

“Nah Joanne ya daft sod, you just need a good shite”

So I causally text Jordan telling him I loved him and tried dropping back off.


Right ok. These “cramps” had began to wake me up every 5 minutes. I tried countless times to have a poo but the last time I was sat on the toilet I put my head in my hands and thought..

“Could this be it? Am I about to mee”


My train of thought was interrupted by Rio falling out of bed somehow and starting to cry. I pulled my keggs up and ran to comfort him, he was absolutely fine! He only fell a few centimetres if that.

As I was comforting Rio one of those “cramps” was that painful I had to hold my breath. That’s how I knew what I was in labour.

I was getting regular pains and they had become more intense. I heard my mum wake up and go to the toilet so I shouted her in and told her what I thought was happening.

I grabbed Rio and his blanket and we all went off downstairs for a cuppa.


Now the cramps had turned into pain, dreadful dreadful pain! I finally had to convince myself that I really was in labour and needed the hospital..NOW!

I rang Jordan straight away! Before he left work I told him to keep his phone in his pocket just Incase.. it’s a good bloomin’ job isn’t it? We waited what felt like 10 hours for him to pick us up.

I can remember being sat on my mum and dads living room floor curled up in a ball and holding my breath during the contractions.

Rio was fetching me his toys and teddies bless him, he definitely knew that something was wrong with mummy and he was just trying to comfort me. I kept telling him over and over that I was absolutely fine and still somehow managed to play with him so he didn’t feel upset in any way.


We had just dropped Rio off with his granny and the amount of guilt I felt was unimaginable. I didn’t even get to say bye to him properly due to the pain and I was about to head off to bring another little human into the world. Would he ever forgive me? Rio wouldn’t be the baby anymore and that thought just broke my heart.

We arrived at the hospital. Jordan dropped me and my mum at the doors whilst he went to park the car. I remember getting a contraction outside the hospital and saying “mum.. I need to be examined like now!! I can’t wait around” I felt like he was gonna come out there and then! I was panicking like crazy.

I knew he would be coming VERY soon. We got onto the triage ward where I was told to wait for a midwife (little did they know how far along I actually was!!) I should’ve gone in there screaming my head off but nope I never learn! I was dealing with it very well if I do say so myself and I was as quiet as a mouse.

After me sat “waiting” in absolute agony for half an hour the nurse FINALLY came to examine me, at first she was talking about sending me home to have some paracetamol and a bath can you believe it!

The examination was over and the nurse’s face was a picture when she realised that I was actually 8cm dilated!

Yet again, I couldn’t have been rushed off to the labour ward quick enough.


I was in agony! Even though things were moving fairly quickly it felt like I’d been in labour for years.

So, basically because I was already 8cm and my waters were bulging they knew that as soon as my waters burst then Junior would be here very soon after that!

They advised me not to have any pain relief other than gas and air. The labour was progressing ever so quick. If I really did need to have pethidine for example then there was a chance it could’ve passed through the placenta (that may have lead to them having to resuscitate the baby.)

It was a no brainier!! I wasn’t going to take that sort of risk, I needed to battle through this for my baby.


This pain was disgusting! I could feel everything. Gas and air never seemed to work with me and my god I needed just a little something to take the edge off. I had to keep my head focused and remind myself that I was doing this for my baby.

I was LITERALLY just waiting for my waters to break. That was it! They couldn’t break them for me either because that would’ve come with complications.

It was never ending. No matter how strong the contractions were they just didn’t want to give way! I was exhausted.

I can remember starting to get agitated! I was sat here in the most unimaginable pain and (it felt like) nobody wanted to help me. I was SO mad!

* I know that the midwives and doctors are the most amazing people on the planet and I cannot thank them enough for helping to bring my healthy boys into the world! Your head is literally just on another planet when you’re in labour, it’s so hard to think straight*

The pain was that intense that I began throwing up (very flattering.) I could actually feel the energy being sucked from my body. Craziness.



With the strongest contraction yet followed by a huge push my waters flooding the whole bastard labour ward and oh boy did I know about it.

The second my waters broke there was no stopping my little Junior. After a few horribly painful pushes for just 3 minutes Junior was here!!


Our second son was here. We had done it.

I don’t think there’s a better sigh of relief than the one you do when you’ve just given birth to a healthy baby. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!

The room was overflowing with love and happiness yet again! Our chunky 7lb 1oz baby decided he was bored of my womb and wanted to vacate 2 weeks early.

I wish I could say I was lucky this time around and didn’t tear or rip but of course I did (inside and out) AGAIN!!

So whilst the midwives spread my legs wider than the length of the river Nile and tried to piece back together my broken vagina, Junior had his first taste of breast milk.

I couldn’t ever be more grateful than I am for both of my labour experiences. Every second of pain is totally forgotten about (that’s a lie sorry) when your healthy baby is placed onto your chest for the first time!

The second my boys were introduced (oh my well that’s a whole new post) was the most beautiful heart warming moment ever.

My two sons and my man. My whole world.


Haha! No I think 2 is definitely enough (for now *cheeky grin*)

I want to give myself the chance to have a HOT cup of tea and a full nights sleep before even thinking about cooking another milk guzzling night owl thank u. Give me 5 years, maybe 30. I’ll get back to you on that one.

Writing these last two posts has made me ever so emotional, chuffing whimp I am.

I will never be able to find the words to explain how truly happy I am to have my little family, health and a roof over our heads. We’re not rich, we don’t own our own home, but we’re here and we’re alive.

We’re doing just fine.

Thankyou so much for being here!

Lots of love,

Joanne X



  1. April 13, 2018 / 10:55 am

    Well done hun. You birthed 2 babies. They’re so gorgeous. Xxxx

    • wingingmamahood
      April 13, 2018 / 10:58 am

      Thankyou so so much! Xxx

  2. Rose
    April 13, 2018 / 12:40 pm

    I love reading your blogs. Your two boys are gorgeous xx

    • wingingmamahood
      April 13, 2018 / 12:43 pm

      Aw how kind! Thankyou so much Xx

  3. Stevie
    April 14, 2018 / 10:45 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. Loved reading it & the pics too! The part where you said about ‘having to actually hold your breath to get through a contraction’ is when you know it started, brought back memories!xx

    • wingingmamahood
      April 14, 2018 / 10:53 pm

      I’m so glad you enjoyed reading! Xx

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