Things we all wish we knew before having children

How did you imagine having children?

Did you imagine pleasant walks to the park in the beaming sunshine? Did you remember getting giddy at the thought of having a “mini-you” strutting around the house? Or the constant giggles and play time you’d be cramming in? Did you think about how organised you’d have their wardrobe? How everything would be so pristine? Ahhh I certainly did and by eck the true reality shook me good!

So I figured, if I teamed up with a handful of incredible parents to share our “I wish I knew’s” then maybe we could save AT LEAST ONE “parent to be’s” sanity. I certainly wish I could’ve had a read of this whilst I was pregnant, maybe then I could’ve prepared myself for the shit storm beautiful experience I was about to encounter.

If I could head back to just one single day before I had children I would cherish EVERY last second of sleep I received, I would put my hands together get on my knees and thank the chuffing lord for a peaceful shower, and I would down so many HOT cuppa’s that my tongue would go numb.

Nobody ever tells you about the littlest things that make the biggest impact in parenthood such as feeling GUILTY about everything! Didn’t go out of the house today? GUILT. Didn’t get out the messy paints? GUILT. Having another child? GUILT. Going for a pee alone? GUILT! It’s a constant battle! feeling as though you could be doing better when in fact you’re doing a tremendous job. The clinginess, the frustration, the “needing to shower”, the lack of sleep, the depression, it all mounts up!

Surprisingly, parenthood isn’t always full of rainbows and butterflies, it is tough! I just wish I knew beforehand, believe me a lot of preparation would’ve been done!

So, here are a few views from fellow parents..

Sarah from Boorooandtiggertoo says; I wish I knew how mentally draining it can be.

Yes yes yes! Imagine literally NOT getting a single second to yourself (it’s blooming draining just thinking about it) and when you do there’s still tasks that need to be completed such as , showering, prepping tea, loading/unloading the washing machine/ sorting through clean clothes/ putting away toys the list is endless.

Pete from says Householdmoneysaving says;I wish I’d have known how much effort even the quickest trips would take.

Literally *rolls eyes* I’ve never taken something for granted SO MUCH! Being able to just get up grab some money and head off to the shop was fabulous. None of that these days. A trip to the shop includes 3 nappy changes, 2 tantrums, 56 “get your shoes on please” and one big overall unnecessary drama.

Sarah from Mummycatnotes says; I wish I had known how frustrating it was going to be, toddlers are hard work and so are 8 year olds with attitude.

It does get frustrating I completely 100% agree with that! It’s frustrating for both the parent and child. Especially frustrating for toddlers I imagine when the only way they know how to communicate is usually by throwing a tantrum/ screaming.

Jenna from Thentherewasthree says; I wish I had known how judgmental people would be over everything you do; bottle or breast, BLW or purée, forward facing or rear facing, schools or home school. Your child -your choice.

See this is baffling. It disgusts me that there’s actually parents out their that are foul enough to stick their nose up at another about a certain decision. Every parent is diffent, every parent uses various techniques, strategies and makes different parenting descisons. We each only ever do what we thinks in our child’s best interests. We should be sticking together! We shouldn’t be making each other question ourselves, as-if parenthood isn’t an emotional rollercoaster as it is! We’re all in the same boat here and we’re all completely winging it let’s be honest ,stay humble folks.

Rachel from Lukeosaurusandme says;I wish I had known that those idyllic family days out you plan rarely go to plan. In your head, everything is perfect and every outing will go tantrum free; you’ll have gorgeous photos of your kids smiling happily and candidly playing with each other in the summer sunshine. Realistically, they cost a fortune, the kids tantrum or argue and I have, on more than one occasion, actually upset myself over the fact things have not gone “to plan”.

Yes! We took the children for a trip to the zoo around a month back. We had only ONE pushchair, TWO snotty noses and a changing bag full to the brim of bog roll. Yes the kids enjoyed it don’t get me wrong but by the end me and Jordan both had back injuries due to the amount of carrying/ wiping/ picking up/ putting down/ more wiping/ more rocking and more chuffing people to apologise to for being in the way. I can’t even remember taking my eyes away from the bunged up teething babies once never mind seeing what animals I could find!

Clare from Emmysmummy says; No outfit you wear from now on will ever be completely clean again, it will be sticky, messy and wiped down quickly with a wet wipe as you walk out the door (even if you only get dressed 2 minutes before needing to leave)

I LOVE THIS ONE! The amount of times I’ve been puked on, gave it a quick wipe down and carried on like nothing happened is unimaginable. That’s something that’d definitely make me gip into next year before I had children but gosh now that’s just the norm for me.

Erica from Incidentalparent says; That life becomes one big contradiction. I wish I’d known that a piece of your heart is walking around the earth and you have little control over what happens to them. The feeling that you want to protect them from everything but at the same time want them to be self sufficient.

Despite the fact that you may go a little crazy and your grey hairs will begin to show A LOT sooner than you’d hoped, parenthood IS beautiful, amazing, magical and I genuinely hands down didn’t know what love was until I met my babies.

I didn’t write this post with the intention of “putting you off parenthood” If ya like. I just feel like knowing a few of the points above will make your life a hell of a lot easier.

Always remember; the bad days are tough but the good days outweigh those by a mile.

Lots of love,

Joanne X

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7 Comments

  1. May 7, 2018 / 4:11 pm

    That photo is just like wow, that colour is needless to say vibrant lol
    I knew babies did lots of poops, but I never knew it would go everywhere …
    But you’re right, the good days must sure outweigh the bad.

  2. welshmumofone
    May 7, 2018 / 6:24 pm

    Absolutely! I think first time parenting hood is such a learning experience. I had no clue what I was doing (well… still don’t!) and was constantly surprised, and amazed at how all the other mama’s had held it together.

  3. May 8, 2018 / 6:40 am

    Love these! So true I am nodding away! Yes the no minute to yourself ever gets pretty draining! But the cuddles are the best! And when they fall asleep on you! xx

  4. May 8, 2018 / 11:44 am

    Love your post! On the subject of guilt – couldn’t agree more. Parenthood doesn’t have to be the same experience for everyone. There isn’t a right and wrong set of answers to everything…what’s good for one child may not be so good for another.

  5. karlapitzen
    May 9, 2018 / 11:39 am

    I love the photo of the poopy diaper blow-out. I can relate to every one of these! My kids are 5 and 8 now, and Rachel’s comment about the imaginary perfect day out turning into tantrums, etc., is still very true.

  6. May 11, 2018 / 3:34 pm

    Oh the poonami’s and the whinging and the screaming…. I am surprised I have hair left if I am honest haha

    • wingingmamahood
      Author
      May 11, 2018 / 4:27 pm

      The feelings mutual haha! X

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