You know you’re a mum when..

You know you’re a mum when..

When you’re grateful for a 3 minute shower,

When having turd under your nail is the norm,

When you can’t walk into a shop without walking out with 3 teddies, a colouring book and a packet of choccy buttons,

When you class an 8am wake up call as a lay in,

When every morning involves poo, and that’s before breakfast!

When you fall over toys AT LEAST once a day,

When plans never go quite to “plan”,

When showering becomes a luxury,

When you catch yourself belting out nursery rhymes whilst hoovering,

When you forget what day (or year) it is,

When you’ve forgotten what the bottom of the wash basket looks like,

When bum wipes are used to clean EVERYTHING,

When putting the bin out alone feels like a vacation,

When you NEED to share your food, no questions asked,

When you’re used as a climbing frame.. daily,

When the cleaning never seems to end,

When you leave the house with everything bar the kitchen sink,

When you choose to have a night in over a night out,

When you secretly go to soft play FOR YOU and not the kids,

When being super enthusiastic rubs off on you that much you’ll end up saying “BEEP BEEP” as you’re pushin the trolley at the supermarket,

When you cheer for the constipated baby who finally did a dump,

When having a wee requires an audience,

When you feel CONSTANT guilt,

When you get the question “are you having any more?” at least once a week, guaranteed!

When you look forward to their bedtime yet when it comes you sit scrolling endlessly through cute photos of em’ because you miss them,

When sticking your nose to a little bum to check if it’s poo or just a fart is totally fine,

When you have the constant urge to squeeze them really hard because you just love them THAT much,

When you repeat the sentence “come get your shoes on please” a good 978 times before leaving the house,

When every “new thing” they do leaves you with leaky eyes,

When you’re like a hawk seeking prey watching other children play nicely with yours,

When you’ve got bigger bags than boobs,

When you feel privileged to have got a brush through that mop of yours,

When at the end of the day they give you a kiss goodnight and your whole body fills with love and gratefulness.

We are ever so blessed.

Lots of love,

Joanne X



  1. Jane
    May 11, 2018 / 9:09 pm

    Oh my god this is me so perfectly! I count myself lucky if i get like a min shower! I only get to shave like every 3 months. So nice to hear some proper motherhood stories which you can relate too. Thank you 🙂 after the most shit week ever this has made me feel slightly more human xxx

    • wingingmamahood
      May 11, 2018 / 9:11 pm

      Oh darling! Sending you all of my love Xxxx

  2. May 14, 2018 / 8:36 am

    I can totally relate to poop under my fingernails!!!

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