I always promised myself that I would continue breastfeeding until Junior was ready to wean himself just like I did with his brother.
Things don’t ALWAYS go according to plan though do they? Especially in parenthood! You could plan an effortless trip to the supermarket for cheese & cucumber and somehow end up with a shitty nappy in each hand and heading towards Toy’s R us. Utterly bizarre.
Anyhow back to breastfeeding. From the very start to the very end it’s not a plain sailing ride is it? Don’t get me wrong its the most amazingly precious feeling in the world when everything’s good but my oh my when its bad its chuffing bad.
When I breastfed Rio I barely had any problems at all. If I remember correctly I only suffered with mastitis on one occasion and it was very early on so it was to be expected really.
For those of you that don’t know what mastitis is picture this. You have 2 overgrown ugly looking misshapen veiny watermelons attached to your chest, not only are they incredibly painful with the slightest touch but you’ve also gotta feed a hangry- (hungry and angry) demanding little human. That same demanding little human will not only suck the life out of that ball of bruise but will squeeze, pinch and nip all at the same.
That’s not all. With mastitis causing milk to spill into your blood stream, your body will begin to attack. You’ll begin having hot and cold sweats, you’ll feel weak/sick and faint, you’ll have the headache from hell and the thought of eating food will wanna make you puke outta your asshole.
I apologise for that terrifying image you currently have embedded into your brain but that’s the reality unfortunately.
That is why my breastfeeding journey with Junior has come to an abrupt end. I’ve battled through
mastitties mastitis well over 10 times in the last 7 months. That is some serious time curled up in pain, that is some serious will power to continue over and over again, and that is some serious stubbornness on my part.
I often found myself arguing with….well.. me
‘Man up you daft get.. are you really gonna let a pair of boulder tits get in the way?’
Yes. Yes I am.
To be honest now my Junior has been weaned on to 3 meals a day with snacks in between, he’s decided that my shitty milk isn’t as yummy as it used to be. The only time he would root for milk would be right before sleep time so was all of this really worth it anymore?
I’ve been quite harsh on myself to be honest. It was unfair for me to continue to breastfeed and continue to get mastitis for Junior to need milk from me once a day.
This was the end.
As I’m writing this I am on day 2 of not handing out any breast milk (except involuntary dripping everywhere due to my engorged boobs). I am currently sat on the laptop typing away with an empty tub of Ben & Jerry’s to my left and a towel shoved under my extremely large hard and painful boob to my right.
Because when I say that breastfeeding isn’t all plain sailing from start to finish. I meant it!
Guess who has got mastitis for the last time?
Its been a good 7 months Darling, I’m so happy I managed to give you the comfort and nutrients you needed the most. I’ll never forget it.
Here’s to more pie, chips and pea’s little bloke.
All My Love X
Read my breastfeeding journey here.